But I am going to miss stuff like this
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Voting
Did you vote on Tuesday? I did. Had an interesting experience:
The polls opened at 6:30am. I try to leave for work around 7 each morning, so I figured I would just stop on my way. I pulled into the elementary school parking lot only to find the (roughly) 150 parking spaces almost full. I had to drive around a few minutes just to get a spot. I'm thinking this does not bode well for me leaving here in a timely fashion.
On my way in, I was offered a card with the Republican ticket on it (I assume it just listed all the Republicans I was allowed to vote for). I politely refused, one because I rarely take handouts from random people, and two, because if I wanted to vote Republican, I'm pretty sure the ballot would list the party affiliation of each candidate. (It did, by the way). I was also greeted by a nice lady holding up a rather large McCain/Palin sign. No Democrat stuff anywhere. Weird. Ohio is still a "swing" state, right? Oh well. In I go.
Holy crap there's a lot of people in here. Well, like a good little boy, I go and stand in the back of the (incredibly long) line. I stay there for a couple minutes, and the people in front of me start asking if they are in the right line. What? There's more than one line? Oooh - maybe I don't have to stand in line after all. ("Wow, Ben, what makes you think that you wouldn't have to stand in line while these people do?" you might say. Is "I'm better than them" acceptable?) A couple of guys go up to a lady sitting behind a table, ask her something, she points, and they go inside the gym. The gym is where the voting takes place - my line, however, is not even close to getting in the gym. Well, now I have to check it out. I go to said table and ask the lady where I'm supposed to stand. I tell her my street name, she finds it on the sheet, and tells me that I am better than those people. I know, right? Well, that's what I heard in my mind. The actual words were more like "You're in that line" as she points to the gym. Woohoo! So I find the correct line. Instead of waiting for 75 people, now I have to wait for about 20. We're making progress.
A nice lady walks up to me and informs me that if I'd like to fill out a paper ballot, that I can just walk up to the table now, sign in, and vote. I smile, say "Oh, ok" and stay in line for electronic voting. Wait, what? For some reason, I just stood in line. Did I think my vote would somehow count more if I did it electronically? Or that it would count sooner? I really don't know. It was weird. Did these people in my line know something I didn't and that's why they were waiting to vote electronically? You'd be surprised what goes through my head sometimes.
A man walks up behind me, the same lady give him the same speech, and he responds with "Really? Ok, let's do that." He walks up, signs his name, they give him a ballot, point him to a booth, and now he's voting. And I'm still 20th in line. Apparently seeing somebody else do it let me know it was "ok", so I decide to give this a shot. Sure enough, I walk up, show my driver's license, sign my name, get my ballot, and go vote.
I was in and out in 30 minutes, which, seeing some news stories, is pretty good for this election. Turns out it could have been about 3 minutes. I guess I know for next time. You know what, though? Four years from now, I'll forget this ever happened and probably do the same thing.
PS: for those of you that left a comment on the last post about liking Fantastic Contraption, I only missed one. I pretty much went with the "guys will like it, girls won't" - it almost worked.
The polls opened at 6:30am. I try to leave for work around 7 each morning, so I figured I would just stop on my way. I pulled into the elementary school parking lot only to find the (roughly) 150 parking spaces almost full. I had to drive around a few minutes just to get a spot. I'm thinking this does not bode well for me leaving here in a timely fashion.
On my way in, I was offered a card with the Republican ticket on it (I assume it just listed all the Republicans I was allowed to vote for). I politely refused, one because I rarely take handouts from random people, and two, because if I wanted to vote Republican, I'm pretty sure the ballot would list the party affiliation of each candidate. (It did, by the way). I was also greeted by a nice lady holding up a rather large McCain/Palin sign. No Democrat stuff anywhere. Weird. Ohio is still a "swing" state, right? Oh well. In I go.
Holy crap there's a lot of people in here. Well, like a good little boy, I go and stand in the back of the (incredibly long) line. I stay there for a couple minutes, and the people in front of me start asking if they are in the right line. What? There's more than one line? Oooh - maybe I don't have to stand in line after all. ("Wow, Ben, what makes you think that you wouldn't have to stand in line while these people do?" you might say. Is "I'm better than them" acceptable?) A couple of guys go up to a lady sitting behind a table, ask her something, she points, and they go inside the gym. The gym is where the voting takes place - my line, however, is not even close to getting in the gym. Well, now I have to check it out. I go to said table and ask the lady where I'm supposed to stand. I tell her my street name, she finds it on the sheet, and tells me that I am better than those people. I know, right? Well, that's what I heard in my mind. The actual words were more like "You're in that line" as she points to the gym. Woohoo! So I find the correct line. Instead of waiting for 75 people, now I have to wait for about 20. We're making progress.
A nice lady walks up to me and informs me that if I'd like to fill out a paper ballot, that I can just walk up to the table now, sign in, and vote. I smile, say "Oh, ok" and stay in line for electronic voting. Wait, what? For some reason, I just stood in line. Did I think my vote would somehow count more if I did it electronically? Or that it would count sooner? I really don't know. It was weird. Did these people in my line know something I didn't and that's why they were waiting to vote electronically? You'd be surprised what goes through my head sometimes.
A man walks up behind me, the same lady give him the same speech, and he responds with "Really? Ok, let's do that." He walks up, signs his name, they give him a ballot, point him to a booth, and now he's voting. And I'm still 20th in line. Apparently seeing somebody else do it let me know it was "ok", so I decide to give this a shot. Sure enough, I walk up, show my driver's license, sign my name, get my ballot, and go vote.
I was in and out in 30 minutes, which, seeing some news stories, is pretty good for this election. Turns out it could have been about 3 minutes. I guess I know for next time. You know what, though? Four years from now, I'll forget this ever happened and probably do the same thing.
PS: for those of you that left a comment on the last post about liking Fantastic Contraption, I only missed one. I pretty much went with the "guys will like it, girls won't" - it almost worked.
Friday, October 3, 2008
Fantastic
This game is a lot of fun. And addicting. At least to geeks like me. If you only have 5 minutes to look at it, don't - because once you start, you can't quit.
http://fantasticcontraption.com/
I have a list in my head of who is going to like this game and who won't - please, if you try it (and I know you), post a comment and let me know. I'll tell you whether I was right or not soon.
http://fantasticcontraption.com/
I have a list in my head of who is going to like this game and who won't - please, if you try it (and I know you), post a comment and let me know. I'll tell you whether I was right or not soon.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Welcome Back
I'm back. Did you miss me? Being busy at work + having a new baby = fewer posts. But I have a little time now, so here goes...
I saw a news article or read or somewhere or heard on the radio (I can't remember - losing sleep messes with my ability to function) that scientists have discovered that a nutrient in green tea can be used to cure [insert disease here]. It was probably cancer or hemorrhoids or something - suffice it say it was significant. What disturbed me was the next line - something like "Such-and-such pharmaceuticals should have a drug out in the next 2 years". Really? That's what health care has come to? Why not just tell people to drink green tea?
What's that? You can't put a patent on green tea? Ah, now I see.
Next thing you know they'll be manufacturing oxygen and selling that.
Oh wait...
I saw a news article or read or somewhere or heard on the radio (I can't remember - losing sleep messes with my ability to function) that scientists have discovered that a nutrient in green tea can be used to cure [insert disease here]. It was probably cancer or hemorrhoids or something - suffice it say it was significant. What disturbed me was the next line - something like "Such-and-such pharmaceuticals should have a drug out in the next 2 years". Really? That's what health care has come to? Why not just tell people to drink green tea?
What's that? You can't put a patent on green tea? Ah, now I see.
Next thing you know they'll be manufacturing oxygen and selling that.
Oh wait...
Monday, June 30, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
A Quickie
Coming back from lunch, I saw an elderly man walking on the sidewalk up ahead of me. I could see he had walking shoes on, so I assumed he was out for some exercise. As I got closer, I could see that he had headphones in, so I was sure that's what he was doing. Then I saw a puff of smoke come up behind him. At first I thought "that had to be one nasty fart", but as I drove by, I noticed it was the CIGAR he was holding. That's right, WHILE he was walking.
Reminds me of those people that order the triple cheeseburger, large fries, and the diet Coke. You know, less calories.
Reminds me of those people that order the triple cheeseburger, large fries, and the diet Coke. You know, less calories.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Sightseeing
Of the few times that I've been in a McDonald's in the last 10 years or so (none by choice, by the way), the most recent trip disturbed me. It was about a week ago, and I was picking up lunch for my pregnant wife (do all pregnant women crave grease at some point?). So I give my order to the surprisingly alert and helpful woman behind the counter, swipe my card (I need to carry more cash), and take my receipt. So far so good.
As I'm waiting for the food to be prepared (read: unthawed, nuked, slapped on a bun, wrapped in plastic and/or unthawed, dropped in boiling oil, loaded into a bucket and/or "pooped" out of a large machine), two ladies walk in and get in line to order. They have matching shirts with words on them, so naturally I need to know what they say. Oh how I wish I didn't look. "Lakota Child Nutrition." (Lakota is our school district).
This alarmed me at first. What would people responsible for the nutrition of thousands of students be doing at a McDonald's? Did they not see Super Size Me? (Tangent: How gross were those fries at the end? If you haven't seen it, they put various McDonald's offerings in jars and watch them for a few months. Most get moldy and start to deteriorate. But not the fries! They were as golden as the day they were put in that jar. That's probably why you're car doesn't wreak after you drop fries in between the seats and don't bother to retrieve them. Imagine losing a chicken sandwich down there. And.......back to my original thoughts) What was later pointed out to me after a profanity-laced rant (not really) was that these women probably just worked in the cafeteria or something and that everyone who handles food is part of "child nutrition".
My faith in the Lakota school system was restored. And my kids will still go to private school.
PS - to both of those Bungalow Boys fans out there, feel to read "Tangent" as "Tangent Man" and laugh hysterically.
As I'm waiting for the food to be prepared (read: unthawed, nuked, slapped on a bun, wrapped in plastic and/or unthawed, dropped in boiling oil, loaded into a bucket and/or "pooped" out of a large machine), two ladies walk in and get in line to order. They have matching shirts with words on them, so naturally I need to know what they say. Oh how I wish I didn't look. "Lakota Child Nutrition." (Lakota is our school district).
This alarmed me at first. What would people responsible for the nutrition of thousands of students be doing at a McDonald's? Did they not see Super Size Me? (Tangent: How gross were those fries at the end? If you haven't seen it, they put various McDonald's offerings in jars and watch them for a few months. Most get moldy and start to deteriorate. But not the fries! They were as golden as the day they were put in that jar. That's probably why you're car doesn't wreak after you drop fries in between the seats and don't bother to retrieve them. Imagine losing a chicken sandwich down there. And.......back to my original thoughts) What was later pointed out to me after a profanity-laced rant (not really) was that these women probably just worked in the cafeteria or something and that everyone who handles food is part of "child nutrition".
My faith in the Lakota school system was restored. And my kids will still go to private school.
PS - to both of those Bungalow Boys fans out there, feel to read "Tangent" as "Tangent Man" and laugh hysterically.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Dog Food
I went to buy dog food the other day. I paid $45 for a 37 pound bag that should last my dog about a month. My first thought was "$45? Really? For that dumb dog? Is she really worth it?" Well, she is, or at least Andrea thinks she is, so I bought it. Then it occurred to me that dogs really only eat one thing. Well, they're supposed to eat only one thing. Turns out if you have a toddler and a dog you never really know who ate what - out of either bowl.
But dogs could live off of only eating that one kind of food. How awesome is that? Where can I get something like that? I think I'll make that my dream for the day: to someday have to only eat one thing, and that one thing will give me all the nourishment I need for that day. Think about it - you'd never have to cook meals or spend gobs of money eating out. As long as it wasn't government funded or run, you could live a long healthy life on just that one food. (If it was government funded, well, it's best not to think about that.) It would be like in The Matrix when all they ate was that gruel - I want that gruel! I want dog food. I don't even care how it would taste. As long as you don't gag when smelling it, I could get used to just about anything. (Joke about Andrea's cooking deleted for marital bliss to continue).
Who do I talk to about this? Is there some sort of petition I can start?
Now, you may think I'm crazy, and if you've read this blog long enough, you know it to be true. But when you struggle with food allergies, and there are times when everything you eat seems to make you sick, you start to think of stuff like this. Sure I get that people like the taste of food, and you like dinner parties and having family over for Thanksgiving and blah blah blah - spare me. If they came up with a food that gave us everything we needed, is it really a stretch to think we wouldn't live to be 120? 150?
But dogs could live off of only eating that one kind of food. How awesome is that? Where can I get something like that? I think I'll make that my dream for the day: to someday have to only eat one thing, and that one thing will give me all the nourishment I need for that day. Think about it - you'd never have to cook meals or spend gobs of money eating out. As long as it wasn't government funded or run, you could live a long healthy life on just that one food. (If it was government funded, well, it's best not to think about that.) It would be like in The Matrix when all they ate was that gruel - I want that gruel! I want dog food. I don't even care how it would taste. As long as you don't gag when smelling it, I could get used to just about anything. (Joke about Andrea's cooking deleted for marital bliss to continue).
Who do I talk to about this? Is there some sort of petition I can start?
Now, you may think I'm crazy, and if you've read this blog long enough, you know it to be true. But when you struggle with food allergies, and there are times when everything you eat seems to make you sick, you start to think of stuff like this. Sure I get that people like the taste of food, and you like dinner parties and having family over for Thanksgiving and blah blah blah - spare me. If they came up with a food that gave us everything we needed, is it really a stretch to think we wouldn't live to be 120? 150?
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Sightseeing
Sight seen on my way to work this week:
This guy pulls out of McDonald's and stops at a red light. He rolls down the window and drops out his straw wrapper. Just right there, on the ground, for someone else to pick up. What the hell? I thought littering was something people did when they thought no one else was looking. You know, like picking your nose. Not this guy. He had no problem with it. And I know there are way worse things than throwing your straw wrapper on the ground, but something just made me want to pull that guy out of his car and shove that straw wrapper so far down his throat that digesting it would be unnecessary. Is that wrong? Well, I've heard jail isn't that cool, so I didn't do it, but it sure would have made me feel better.
This guy pulls out of McDonald's and stops at a red light. He rolls down the window and drops out his straw wrapper. Just right there, on the ground, for someone else to pick up. What the hell? I thought littering was something people did when they thought no one else was looking. You know, like picking your nose. Not this guy. He had no problem with it. And I know there are way worse things than throwing your straw wrapper on the ground, but something just made me want to pull that guy out of his car and shove that straw wrapper so far down his throat that digesting it would be unnecessary. Is that wrong? Well, I've heard jail isn't that cool, so I didn't do it, but it sure would have made me feel better.
Friday, February 15, 2008
Curbside Tip Up?
So being the nice husband that I am, when Andrea is sick and doesn't feel like cooking and won't eat my cooking (who would?), I go pick up food for her. Last week was just such a time. Now we don't eat out often, usually once or twice a week and mostly at the same two or three places. So last week, we ate somewhere else. And this place just happened to have curbside pickup (or whatever fancy name they threw on it to make it "theirs"). Now, I was a curbside pickup virgin. Never done it before. Had no idea what to expect.
Well, if you've never done it before, it's pretty much how you'd think it is. You pull up to a designated area of the parking lot. They have already asked what kind of car you drive when you placed the order, so when you pull up, they bring your food out to your car. It's like having a drive thru without the drive thru.
Sounds great, right? You pull up, don't even have to get out of your car, somebody brings you your food, you pay, and drive off. Amazing. When I first heard of this, I thought "how lazy can people get that they need can't even get out of their car to get carryout?" So here's the rub: how can you not tip the girl (or guy, I guess) that brings you your food? Here you are, sitting in your nice warm car, she brings out your piping hot food wearing short sleeves, waiting for you to fumble around in your wallet to find your credit card. Then she comes back out and has to wait for you to sign the receipt. That's worth at least a couple bucks, right?
So how did this come to be? Did nobody leave a tip when picking up carry out? I do most of the time because the carry out people generally perform the same duties as the in-store waitresses. They take your order, submit it to the cooks, and bring you your food when it's ready. So I tip on carry out. But didn't anybody else? Did they have to come up with curbside pickup to get you to tip? Did these places really gain that much business because you didn't have to get out of your car to get your food? Only in America.
A quick side note on the upcoming elections now that I'm thinking about America: thanks for nothing America! I'm gonna have 2 lame choices for President. (By the way, I'm now on some list because I mentioned the President - what's up FBI?) You've got McCain who wants to declare war on everybody. You've got Obama/Clinton who both support abortion rights. What's worse, the wait to get into Canada is 2 years. (Yeah, I checked). So if you have a good way to pick who (whom?) I vote for, let me know. So far I have eeny-meany-miney-mo and bubble-gum-bubble-gum-in-a-dish. Leave your vote in the comments.
PS: I just reread this, and it kinda sucks. If you made it here, hats off to you. You win the special prize.
Well, if you've never done it before, it's pretty much how you'd think it is. You pull up to a designated area of the parking lot. They have already asked what kind of car you drive when you placed the order, so when you pull up, they bring your food out to your car. It's like having a drive thru without the drive thru.
Sounds great, right? You pull up, don't even have to get out of your car, somebody brings you your food, you pay, and drive off. Amazing. When I first heard of this, I thought "how lazy can people get that they need can't even get out of their car to get carryout?" So here's the rub: how can you not tip the girl (or guy, I guess) that brings you your food? Here you are, sitting in your nice warm car, she brings out your piping hot food wearing short sleeves, waiting for you to fumble around in your wallet to find your credit card. Then she comes back out and has to wait for you to sign the receipt. That's worth at least a couple bucks, right?
So how did this come to be? Did nobody leave a tip when picking up carry out? I do most of the time because the carry out people generally perform the same duties as the in-store waitresses. They take your order, submit it to the cooks, and bring you your food when it's ready. So I tip on carry out. But didn't anybody else? Did they have to come up with curbside pickup to get you to tip? Did these places really gain that much business because you didn't have to get out of your car to get your food? Only in America.
A quick side note on the upcoming elections now that I'm thinking about America: thanks for nothing America! I'm gonna have 2 lame choices for President. (By the way, I'm now on some list because I mentioned the President - what's up FBI?) You've got McCain who wants to declare war on everybody. You've got Obama/Clinton who both support abortion rights. What's worse, the wait to get into Canada is 2 years. (Yeah, I checked). So if you have a good way to pick who (whom?) I vote for, let me know. So far I have eeny-meany-miney-mo and bubble-gum-bubble-gum-in-a-dish. Leave your vote in the comments.
PS: I just reread this, and it kinda sucks. If you made it here, hats off to you. You win the special prize.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Sightseeing
Debuting a new feature on the blog today called Sightseeing. It's my version of A Scene Along the Way that I'm fond of and that some of you know about. I hope you like it.
It's been unseasonably warm here in the midwest (shouldn't it be mideast?), which normally is a good thing. You get to go outside without layers upon layers of clothing, you can't see your breath, and you can feel your toes when you finally do go back inside. But I recently saw a downside.
Driving to work one day, I saw a runner on the side of the road. Wow, that sounds like the guy had been run over. No, I saw a guy running along the side of the road, you know , how those snobby bike riders do when they ride along the white line snubbing their noses at the sidewalk. That's all well and good until you have a line of cars backed up trying to get around you because you're too good for the sidewalk. Yeah, there's bumps in the sidewalk - deal with it. You know I've never seen a bike rider along a highway. I mean that's a perfect place for them. HUGE shoulder.
Ok, back to my runner (starting to get the title of the blog now?). So here's this guy running in what appears to be a t-shirt...and socks...and running shoes. This is where you say "Wait, just a t-shirt and shoes?" and I say "well, and socks" and you come back with "no pants?" Well done. Except he did have pants. Well, shorts. But not normal shorts. No no. These were way shorter than shorts. In fact, they may be called "shorters" or even "shortests". So short in fact, that had this guy's shirt not been moving from the running, I'm not sure you'd be able to see them apart from the shirt.
Can someone explain this to me? Does it somehow help the running to have your entire leg showing? Would it be just as beneficial to go jogging in tighty-whities? At least then, I would give you the benefit of the doubt that you have some mental impairment and just forgot to put on your normal shorts. Does it feel freer (that's free-er but still doesn't look right)? Of all the shorts I've ever owned, I can't remember any coming above mid-thigh. Except for maybe the 80's - that doesn't count. I didn't start dressing myself until...well...that's a different subject.
Now, you might be saying to yourself "I bet he wouldn't have a problem with these short shorts on women runners."
And you'd be right.
Ramble On...
It's been unseasonably warm here in the midwest (shouldn't it be mideast?), which normally is a good thing. You get to go outside without layers upon layers of clothing, you can't see your breath, and you can feel your toes when you finally do go back inside. But I recently saw a downside.
Driving to work one day, I saw a runner on the side of the road. Wow, that sounds like the guy had been run over. No, I saw a guy running along the side of the road, you know , how those snobby bike riders do when they ride along the white line snubbing their noses at the sidewalk. That's all well and good until you have a line of cars backed up trying to get around you because you're too good for the sidewalk. Yeah, there's bumps in the sidewalk - deal with it. You know I've never seen a bike rider along a highway. I mean that's a perfect place for them. HUGE shoulder.
Ok, back to my runner (starting to get the title of the blog now?). So here's this guy running in what appears to be a t-shirt...and socks...and running shoes. This is where you say "Wait, just a t-shirt and shoes?" and I say "well, and socks" and you come back with "no pants?" Well done. Except he did have pants. Well, shorts. But not normal shorts. No no. These were way shorter than shorts. In fact, they may be called "shorters" or even "shortests". So short in fact, that had this guy's shirt not been moving from the running, I'm not sure you'd be able to see them apart from the shirt.
Can someone explain this to me? Does it somehow help the running to have your entire leg showing? Would it be just as beneficial to go jogging in tighty-whities? At least then, I would give you the benefit of the doubt that you have some mental impairment and just forgot to put on your normal shorts. Does it feel freer (that's free-er but still doesn't look right)? Of all the shorts I've ever owned, I can't remember any coming above mid-thigh. Except for maybe the 80's - that doesn't count. I didn't start dressing myself until...well...that's a different subject.
Now, you might be saying to yourself "I bet he wouldn't have a problem with these short shorts on women runners."
And you'd be right.
Ramble On...
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